You may or may not have seen the recent trend of “self-love” going around the Tumblr and twitter world. people constantly posting aesthetically pleasing pictures of luscious baths filled with foamy bubbles with the luminous glow of scented candles or kicking back with a glass of chardonnay and watching your favorite episode of ‘Frankie & Grace’ on Netflix. While all that is fine and dandy, my personal definition of self-love is slightly more dimensional and real than a bubble bath or some television show.
People who often discuss self-love often times glimpse over it and make it such a generalized topic. Many times, people will glamorize the actual details of it, much like how people glamorize mental illnesses and make such an important subject while turning it into something “cool” or “hip.” But here’s what people don’t want you to know:
1. Self-love takes acknowledgement. When I say this, I mean at first, you must acknowledge the sense in your brain that is telling you that you need a little system reboot. Figure out the source of what is causing you stress or uncomfortableness.
2. Once you have that figured out, try to determine what steps you can take to further help yourself and your mental health. Whether it be seeing a therapist or not attending class due to needing a mental day, take all necessary precautions so that you feel confident and you are able to bounce back faster and better.
3. Adding onto that, don’t ever hesitate to call off work or skip school because you need a breather. from my personal experience, teachers and employers are usually incredibly accommodating to your situations. for me, my teachers were more than understanding of my situation. i just made it perfectly clear to them and made sure communication between us flowed constantly. a day or two off was usually what i needed to continue and finish off the next few weeks strong.
4. This is one of my personal favorites. “Allow yourself to be where you are. Just feel whatever you are feeling, without judging it or judging yourself for feeling it. Let go of the story you have created around it and just be with the feeling. Embrace it. Explore it. Feel it. All any feeling wants is to be felt fully. this can only be done when you let go of your resistance to feeling it, which is kept in place by the story and the judgment around it. Without the story and the labels, feelings are inherently neutral. Feel the feeling fully, then just let it dissolve.” -Dan Copperfield. I honestly could not have said this better myself if I wanted to.
And finally,
And finally,
5. Be mindful of yourself. be accepting of all your flaws and mistakes. Self-love is being understanding of your life choices and decisions and still choosing to love yourself fully and wholeheartedly. So do not second guess yourself. stop doubting who you are and why you do what you do. Instead, lean into those choices and embrace the fact that they are a part of you. And they make you who you are today.
Until next time,
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