How to manage anxiety in college

School is just around the corner, and I know many of us are stressing out at the simple thought of going back. Being someone who suffers form anxiety, it's been quite difficult these past few days. But I sat back and thought of how far I have come with my anxiety compared to where I first started. So that gave me an idea to write this post. Here are just a few tips I continuously remind myself and personally helped get me through my first two years of college. I know everyone is different, and no two people are the same, so I tried to write about what I learned in therapy that helped most people who suffer from anxiety as well. I hope everyone, not just people with mental illnesses, can learn something from this post. So, here we go! 

1. Know where it comes from 

The turning point in my fight with anxiety was going to see a counselor. At therapy, I learned to identify what made me tick, what my triggers were, and how to overcome it. But the latter didn’t come until much later. I firmly believe that the first step to anxiety is to even just know what makes you anxious because once you can recognize the situation, you can learn to change it. 


Try this: Who is a local therapist that you can talk to? If you’re not ready to see a therapist, that’s okay too. Who is a friend that you can talk to and keep you accountable?  

2. Grounding / Being in the Present 

A lot of my anxiety came from over worrying about things that didn’t exist. My brain would see the worst case scenario hypothetical and fixate on that as being the reason why I shouldn’t do something. For example, my first semester of college, I once cancelled a meeting with a potential law advisor I met through my advisor because I had anxiety about meeting a new person. I remember thinking once to myself, why am I pursuing law if it’s a profession that involves interpersonal relationships—something that really gave me deep anxiety? (But I was never one to let fear stop me, that’s just a conscious choice you have to make at the end of the day.) 

In therapy I learned a method called “grounding.” It’s easy to let your mind get carried away with excessive worrying. Especially when you have anxiety, letting yourself go down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts can be detrimental. Grounding brings you back to the present with a series of mental exercises like counting your breaths or the physical things around you. Remember--thoughts are thoughts, and can't actually hurt you. 

"Remember--thoughts are thoughts, and can't actually hurt you."


Bonus: Share with me in the comments if it helped! I'd love for other people to see your success in this! 

3. Thankfulness

Being thankful is a huge thing in my family. My parents are both Muslims and every time we all get together, they always remind me to have a thankful heart. 

Oftentimes I get anxious about my college career to the point where it brings me to depression or deep feelings of worthlessness. Especially towards the end of my freshman year, I had a lot of anxiety. I was constantly worrying about my future and if my grades will ever be good enough to get into a prestigious law school. I feel like a huge part of this comes from being a black woman and having to constantly see physical statistics of success rates of people who look like me pursing this field. But having a thankful heart and remembering what God has done for me and will continue to do keeps my anxieties about the future at bay. Especially when I actually sit back and look at His work, it calms my anxiety because I really see how much He’s grown me. So if you’re feeling anxious, take a deep breathe and be thankful. 



Try this: Write down 3 things that has been really good for you in the past 3 months that you’re proud of. Put them somewhere you can see every day—fridge, mirror, doorway, etc. There's still more to be done, but never forget what's been done already.

4. Prayer/Meditation/Behavioral Design 

I have a few friends who started meditating and they loved it. I personally am a more spiritual person and would prefer to substitute meditation time with prayer time. But the point of this is that when you get anxiety, your mind tends to fill up with worry and get incredibly noisy. It can be incredibly consuming to the point where it’s unbearable. So prayer/meditation just opens up a space where you can empty your mind and reset. 

Try this: Set aside 5 minutes every morning to pray/meditate. Create an empty space for yourself, and know that you can always go back to this space throughout the day if you feel anxious. 

5. Lean on Friends

I left this one for last because I actually think it’s the most important. We were made to love. I believe this. The hardest thing about having anxiety was going through it by myself. Before 2 years ago, I didn’t even know I had “anxiety.” I just knew my thought patterns were excessively laced in worry and oftentimes it would consume me. But in the moments where it would consume it, I was ashamed to go to my friends for help. I thought they would think less of me. During 2011-2013 where my anxiety was through the roof, I only had 1 friend I can go to to talk my thoughts out with. We both knew he was telling me things over and over again but the fact that he was so patient and accepting of me really helped me through those dark years. Since therapy, I’ve told more friends about my anxiety. And most of them may not understand what it actually is, but the fact that they now know and still love me anyway has made all the difference. Isolation bears no fruit. 



Think: Who is a designated friend that you can call when you catch yourself falling into negative thought patterns? 

You can never be "cured" of anxiety. But there are ways you can cope and mitigate it.

There are still days where I have serious anxiety, I can’t help that. My triggers are hardwired into my brain from childhood and it’s a part of me that will take more than just a few years of self awareness to undo. But I’ve built a loving and supportive network around me that will catch me if I fall. Instead of destroying myself with unhealthy mental habits, I want to love myself and help those around me. It's taken me a long time to get to a point where I can say this, but here it is: Anxiety doesn't define me.

I never thought I would be able to “conquer” my anxiety, but with the love and support of those around me, I feel closer to overcoming it each and every day. At one point my anxiety would have gotten the best of me, now it just feels like an itch on rainy days. Remember, this is a process. It won't happen overnight. It takes a lot of time, hard work, and energy, But I have faith in you. So have faith in yourself.

That's all for today! Leave me a comment letting me know what you do to help you manage stress or anxiety! Love you all dearly, and see you this weekend for another post.